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Monthly Archives: July 2009

Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi


A sequel to Love, Guilty and Relations.

There is a thin line between desire and selfishness. But is there a similar line between desire and expectations? Are these two thought processes one and the same? Are they widely different?

For many days, I am writing a lot about expectations and love without expectations. Unconditional love which people might say. I have been advocating that love without expectations is the true love. But suddenly, a silent flood of questions have erupted within. This blog post is the first one in this series which doesn’t give a conclusion. Rather, it leaves me with infinity of unanswered queries for you all to solve.

For a person like me, concepts of right and wrong bother a lot. My morality and my ideals come into picture whenever to take a decision. Whenever I expect something, I at once stop myself from getting carried away. But whenever I desire, I cant stop myself from that! Suppose I desire to touch the hands of a girl, walk with her hand to hand, and I am well aware that she wont do that so thus I am not expecting her to do that. I keep the desire within me. Is it justified to have such a feeling? Is it really a desire or has it crossed the thin line of selfishness. In the sense that ‘I’ want to touch her, is it not selfishness at an elimentary stage?

Suppose I want to spend time with her. Is it same as thinking that she should spend time with me? I think there is a difference. I feel that if I have a desire to spend time with her, I am not selfish coz I want to give love to her, to take care of her, I want to see her happy. If I think that she should spend time with me, then I am selfish coz its about my happiness. But again, I am not sure this time if I am correct. I am confused.

When I ‘desire’ , am I really ‘expecting’ something from her, something which I feel is against my ideals. Sometimes I feel that I have the RIGHT to love her, isn’t that selfishness? I don’t know how to define these things. And right now I also don’t know whether I am right in a thought or wrong. I feel again and again that I am becoming a bad person when I began to think that “I” must love a girl. Is it really bad?

I don’t know.

Hoping for a satisfactory answer.

Snehil Basoya

[Well, the third sem has started in a pleasant way. Courses are really interesting, profs are good, books are good, room is good, time table is good, till now, even time management is good, a good opening afterall, nice to think that direction]

 
7 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

After one year ……….


Nostalgia

Nostalgia

 

A nostalgia, a belongingness, so many thoughts to pen down. After a really long time, I am here writing something really about me. Something which justifies the title “I Am Myself”.

 25th July is accelerating towards me, bringing a lot many cobwebs within my mind and heart, two of the things which have transformed drastically in the last one year …….. my first year at IIT-D. The poetic flow of memories is now ready to be sequenced down! Past two semesters gave me a base. Last three months gave me insight on that base. A lot of time to discover myself again.

 What have I learnt?

 *Acceptance

 Accept situations. Situations which come unexpected, good and bad. Situations which turn your life around. Situations which make you feel better than ever, which make you feel worse than ever. Situations which squeeze out the energy within you, which induce energy as a radical power. Accept everything.

 Accept people around you. Accept everyone as he or she is. Life doesn’t work by rejection. I may not be a believer of something, but if someone else believes it and has a valid reason for it, accept it. No one is bad. Everyone is good. Accept the person in your life with grace, with love.

 Accept results. Dont aim for them. Result is not in my hand, how I reach to it is definitely with me.

 *Work

 Hard work is never enjoyed! Coz when I work with enjoyment, it isn’t hard anymore! Work is the only way to live life. Work with eyes open. Work in a direction which is known to me. Work which satisfies me, not someone else. Work with passion. Then even rest is enjoyed at its best.

 *Friendship

 Everyone is a friend. Everyone can be made friend if he isn’t. Share your problems and gossips with a bunch of selected close friends. Maintain a pleasant and unintentional smile for the rest of the world! Friendship is strength. Satisfaction. Confidence. Belongingness.

 *Love

 I have already written a lot on it !!! Just for the sake of completeness here, love with love. Love with innocence. Love without pain, with happiness. Love with a sense of givingness, payingness. Love a girl without any expectations. Love ‘n’ number of girls. There is no rule. Love someone more, love someone less. Love your friends. Love your classmates. Love everyone and everything. Hatred will not destroy him any more, it will destroy me. Love your own world. Love yourself. Laugh on yourself. Cry on yourself. How you messed up things. How you created wonders. How you made someone smile. How you made someone cry. Love everything you did. Love with love.

 *Happiness

 Being happy for myself. Being happy for someone else. Be happy. Radiate happiness. Natural happiness, not artificial. Bring it from within. From depth, not from the surface. If happiness is required for a reason, let it be. If for someone else who needs your happiness, let it be. At the end, be happy, whatever the reason may be. There always exists one reason to be happy, no matter thousands of reasons to be sad.

 *Decide

 I once wrote, Life Demands Decisions. It is true. Far away from home, in my own world, where I am free to decide my course of life, where I am independent. I need to decide at every stage of life. Decisions may not be big. What to wear today. What to eat. When to eat. How much money to spend, not to spend. How much to talk on phone. How much to chat on gtalk. Every decision matters. Often time wastage is important, so that we realise the importance of time!

 Justify and be responsible for my own small decisions, and I will gain confidence for big ones. Put my opinion with confidence in front of all. Put aside fear. Decide myself and explain “why” to justify.

 *My limitations

 I cant be everything. I cant do everything. Every interest is not profession. Every profession is not life. Dance and Dramatics twenty four hours is not my life. Blogging every week is not my life. Working blindly for twenty hours a day is not my life.  I have my limitations. What I am capable of and what is my capacity – these are two different things.

 ………….. I didn’t write what I experienced, I just wrote what I learnt from them, coz that is more important and decisive for my next three years.

 What are my challenges?

 *Entering second year brings a sense of “bigness”. My biggest challenge is to remain the same “faccha” always for my wonderful seniors who love me.

 *Not to forget my strengths, not to get carried away by weaknesses.

 *My friends – I am fortunate enough to have loads of them. It feels nice when I always find someone saying a “hi” to me as I walk down to Insti. However, it doesn’t feel nice when I fail to keep a balance between so many of them, when I have to ignore one for giving time to another. Or when often I have to ignore many to give time to one. Balance between time devotion is my challenge!

 *Mumma and Papu. Not giving time to them was a mistake. I hope this doesn’t happen again.

 

I have learnt to learn life. To respect life and all the living creatures which this life has bestowed upon me. Lot many more challenges, lot much to see in near future. One year gone, three more to come. Bring them on !!!!!

 Next blog soon.

 Snehil Basoya.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on July 21, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

Be Happy and GAY


[“A provision of law branding one section of people as criminal based wholly on states’ moral disapproval of that class goes counter to equality guaranteed in the Constitution. We declare section 377 of Indian Penal Code in so far as it criminalises consensual sexual acts of adults in private is violative of Articles 21, 14, and 15 of the Constitution.”

Delhi HC has come up with a historic judgement legalizing gay sex.

 

This blog is an opinion, not a debate as it may seem. I want to express my opinion of some of the counters which emerged out after the law was passed. No offences to any one.]

The Times Of India reads – “Gays are sick people, they should be send to hospitals”, Swami Ramdev. On behalf of the whole nation, I sincerely submit a humble request Swami ji to kindly frame some scintillating Yoga techniques which can “cure” these diseased people called gays. There were times when you advocated not going to hospitals thrusting that Yoga alone can solve a man’s uttersome miseries. Come on Swami ji, not just Gayness, I would also request to frame out some solution to the fatal problem of AIDS in the world. You are world famous I suppose. (Ofcourse, this was quite an out-of-context point introduced by me!)

How and why gays are sick people, he didn’t answer.

I am a decent fan of Swami Ramdev u know, for all his Yoga techniques which have cured millions worldwide. There is a difference between fan and follower. I am a follower to no one in this world, coz everyone has got some excellence and some of the rubbish sides.

Lalu Yadav too jumps into the cradle, saying that he is firmly against this order of Delhi HC. Why, came no answer, he repeats the same lines again and again.

Certain points have emerged in recent days.

“It is against all religions”.

Text would say “God doesn’t allow such phenomenon”. For all religious associations who have come up opposing the judgement, can you please let us talk to your God, so that we can ask him for a reason then. The judiciary is already convinced, the nation is getting convinced everyday, we are confident that your God will get convinced too.

God himself wasn’t writing these scripts, was he? There must be some sort of author or rule maker who had, in collaboration with many, framed the ancient religious manuscripts. Definitely there are things valid and justified in them, but is it true for  everything they mention? You don’t follow rules framed by today’s judiciary which are meant for today’s world, for today’s people and for the futuristic vision but you walk ahead to follow legislations written in religions which were framed thousands of years ago. Even that is not justified if one looks, coz LGBTs ( Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgenders) are existing in this world right from the very existence. This is not a biological species which has got sprouted in a decade or so.

If someone believes in religion, he must also believe in religious stories! Lord Krishna had 16,100 queens (this is official number, mind it. Governments often hide the statistics). Numerous times, he incarnated as a woman, had sex with a king, gave birth to a heir and revived back to his original. Likes of Indra didn’t quite often show “morality” in that sense, for he often became a frog in a pond of bathing beauties and several disguising characters just on account of his lust. This is in reference to Hinduism. When we have accepted these anecdotes in our religion considering them as acts of a God, whats the issue with gays then.

Let him sleep

“It is a crime.”

Sex is not a crime. Intimacy is not a crime. There should be a Fundamental Right of Sex too.

“It is against Indian Culture.”

For years, daily we get to hear the phrase Indian Culture. Alas, Indian Culture hasn’t got any documented constitution of its own. If there had been one, there would have been no debates on words like morality or culture or tradition. If LGBTs are against Indian culture, then they must be against each and every other culture of the world, coz its not that they are unevenly distributed in just some parts of the world. We have seen gays in movies as Englishmen doesn’t mean that we don’t have them in India. In India, we have hidden gays, coz till date it has been illegal and a crime to be a gay.

“It is unnatural and against nature.”

If sex is unnatural, than it’s a new shocking discovery for me. I don’t know if any constitution has defined sex as a male-female intercourse. Nature doesn’t say that a man has to be private with a woman only. If a man feels like going that way with another man or a woman going private with another woman, it is still “natural”. Still if we believe in intercourse as natural, likes of Ganeshji (for religious people who are against LSBTs) haven’t been born through natural means.

Whatever we feel to do, it is natural.

“It will affect society in an adverse way.”

What two men or two women are doing in a bedroom is definitely not going to “affect” the society, forget in an adverse manner. Having a gay or a lesbian between us in a market place isn’t going to affect the society except for a few curious glances across them. Dostana proved out to be a family movie, we are no more passive with kids regarding gays (Of course, a movie on lesbians wont be watches by families coz of promising exposure ………… Girlfriend was a big flop).

From today, a particular person would feel free to accept that he is a gay. Because he is no more a criminal in the eyes of judiciary. It would take time for the country to adjust. We need to understand that there is nothing to be afraid of a gay or a lesbian. It will take time when we will have them recognized be their name and not merely by this sheepish adjective called LSBT. It will take time for this hitherto sidelined and tiraskrit section of our society to understand their responsibility of not stooping to frustration or obscenity which may harm the society.

Lets welcome the new legislation.

Lets be Happy and GAY.

Next blog soon.

Snehil Basoya.

[ Comments are welcome! However, I wont be countering comments this time (I never do that 😛 ). Once I give my point again, you write again, and the debate can go for years. I have really got sick of debates in recent times. I have started believing in giving opinion for once and finish it off. Coz I think there is no point discussing something which cant have a conclusion, one side has to withdraw for a conclusion. I don’t know whether my philosophy is correct or not, what I know is that I am currently happy with such frame of mind.

 

Please post your opinion.]

 
3 Comments

Posted by on July 5, 2009 in Uncategorized