Double-Bed in a Single Room : IITD

PART-ONE : The Introduction

Girls in Himadri and Kailash Hostels are given rooms of the size of Football Grounds. They utilise it by demanding more and more Teddy Bears from their boyfriends and adore their rooms with lots of them, I discovered on their House Days. Sometimes, they even compete with their roomies on the quantity of teddy bears, I discovered in one of the rooms. On one hand, IIT fraternity constructs a 9-Storey Hostel for these Teddy Bears and not too far away, on the other side of the campus, boys are left with sleepless nights with their hubbies on their Double Beds, preparing them for their better future.

A typical boy’s hostel Single Room opens with the door without a door lock. (They have been broken several times with hammers as one of the roomies often looses the key). (This is the Naked Truth – a Single Room has ROOMIES) Some doors also have peep holes, they are not holes in fact. Ranging from 1.5 cm to 15 cm, they are formed due to peeling off of wood due to mis-placements of hammers when thrown with force.

As soon as you push the door, you expect it to open. Unfortunately it doesn’t. Rather, it hits hard within a range of 1 feet to the Double Bed. You enter through a tunnel-sort of narrow opening and find yourself stepped over a miserable collection of clothes and chappals (Chappals are borrowed, rather stolen, from some far-away room). This miserable collection on the floor measures somewhere around “3 ft X 2 ft” in area. Rest of the space is occupied by, once again, the Double Bed. Of course there is a table, but you can’t study on it. If you do so, you don’t have space to keep your clean clothes, books, waste material, water bottle, project files, laptop, used up unwashed under wears, towels, polythenes, paper bags, medicines, soap case, Lord Ganesha and other memorable and necessary things (There is 1 almirah for books and 1 for all other items, they too are shared).

When you sleep, you transfer all garbage to the table. When you have to make a file, you transfer the same garbage back to the bed. Owing to acute shortage of space, you are forced to keep your laptop on your lap. And prolonged exposure of laptop to the lap can cause impotency.

IIT-D fraternity is intelligent. They force roomies to sleep on a Double Bed and simultaneously, create a constant fear of impotency as well ..!!

PART-TWO : The Night Chat

[This Chat is inspired from Aravali Hostel. This is Fact mixed with Fiction. Fictional names and attributes have been given to the two characters.]

Its 2 O’ clock at night.

DHADAM ..!! A loud attack on the miserable door.

Rahul: (Sleeping like hell) Kaun ????????

Aditya: Tera Baap. Khol ******.

Rahul: Aa raha hun.

And he opens the door with closed eyes. Aditya’s fingers search for the switch board.

Rahul: Light mat On kario ……. (and he falls on the bed again like a dead corpse)

Aditya: K …. Fine.

He drops his bag on the other part of the bed which is already filled with garbage transferred by Rahul. Changes clothes in the dark, throws the garbage on the floor and falls on the bed too.

Awkward silence for 5 minutes.

“Today was a hectic day yaar”, Aditya broke the silence.

“Why? Don’t say you spoke to her”, intrigued the dead corpse.

“I spoke or not, how does it make my day hectic?”

Rahul takes a quick turn with a cunning smile on his face, faces Aditya closely and says, “Tell me what happened today !!”

“Nothing ********, just same as other routine days,” sighs Aditya, lost in his own thoughts, facing towards the roof.

“Bata na ********, mujhse chhupayega,” comes another smile.

Aditya continues his silence.

Rahul tries again, “ See, if you don’t wanna tell, just fuck of and let me sleep.” He turns again and pretends to doze off.

5 minute silence.

“I said a ‘Hi’,” said Aditya finally.

Rahul turns slowly. “It was you or was it she?”

“It was me only.”

“So …… when did this tragic incident happen?” Rahul looked very curious.

“CYP lab.”

“hmmm … I could see those chemicals jumping out of the burrette,” he was enjoying it.

Aditya didn’t reply.

“Kya hua  ***  **  *****? Senti ho gaya kya? Fir se nahi yaar, we are discussing on it from last 2 weeks daily at this topic daily at this same time. Every night you force me to open the door at midnight, never come on time, and then fuck off my sleeping hours in these rubbish discussions, boys and girls, realities of life, spirituality, friendships, trust and belief and blah blah blah …”

“Do you think she will ever talk to me?”

“However, I love these discussions … !!”

“Tell me your view point first.”

“Who … Aakriti?”

“Haan ********.”

“Why not, I told you in last night’s midnight lecture too, if ego doesn’t come in between, then there is no problem in maintaining a formal Hi-Hello.”

“It isn’t at all about the ego yaar, you know it very well ……..”

“But I am unable to understand why you bother so much about her. Has she ever shown a sign of love, or leave it, any sign of respect towards you?”

“No, but …”

“What but, listen to me. She is NOT your girlfriend, and if some tom-dick-n-harry owns her, then she didn’t deserve you, that’s it ..!!! She doesn’t deserve those who care for her, but yes, jitna main tujhe jaanta hun, you don’t deserve those who don’t deserve you.”

“You always give nice fande yaar !! Anyways, leave it. Teri waali ka kya hua? Jiya was looking really HOT today !! Sulphuric Acid to wo bhi bahot uchhal rahi thi teri taraf :P”

“You already know yaar, I am no more infatuated, she simply sat beside me today and as soon as ……..”

**** ** ****, *** ** *****, **********, JUST SHUT UP YOUR MOUTHS AND LET ME SLEEP”, came a voice from the opposite room from a 3rd person [LASSU]

“Lassu is shouting yaar, we shall continue tomorrow.”

“Fine no problem, but it will be better if you return by 1 O’ clock.”

“Why, you wanna sleep more?”

“No, so that we discuss in detail :D. Good Night.”

“Good Night !!”

……………….. and the Double Bed signs off for tonight.

[This blog was written in profound demand by some people as a result of some rigorous discussion on “late-night chats on Double Beds” on the dinner mess table at Karakoram. Comments requested.]

Snehil Basoya